I've been having one of those weeks. I have been such a grouch, just going through the motions and not happy about it, either.
I hate when I get like this. I consider myself a passionate person. I am either full of love and cheer or I am screaming at you like you'd never believe. I used to be more mellow, but I guess life happened. Or, in all seriousness, I might possibly be bipolar. Hence the down & out mood.
I am a firm believer in getting help when you need it. Mentally, physically, emotionally. I know that sometimes that help is not in the cards for us, for whatever reason, and we just have to do the best we can when we get into a funk. Maybe it's PMS. Maybe it's despair over things in life that we want to change but can't (or won't). Maybe we just need a breather.
I was seriously having a metaphysical crisis with my weird mood yesterday. I was thinking "What is the point of life? Why am I going through the same old bullshit all the time if it ends up the same no matter what we as human do? What was I thinking bringing kids into this world? I don't contribute anything worthwhile. People would be better off if I weren't here."
I was digging myself deep with those dark thoughts.
Sometimes I really have to take a step back and think of things that I know to be true.
I know that God wants us to pull ourselves up when we feel down. He gives us the power to do so. Our faith in Him is the greatest gift we can ever have.
Also, as Lucille Ball put it, "One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn't pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself"
I love that. It's so true. Sometimes you just have to push through things, even if it's the last thing you feel like doing...
I do my best, even on my bad days. I have blessings that I forget about when I am throwing myself a pity party. I have to remember that I need to be a light to someone else, even if I don't feel like it. That one is hard and I sometimes (often) fall short of what I should be doing, but I fail, and I try again.
If you ever need to talk, I am here to listen. I have been lonely and needed a friend many times in my life. Please don't hestitate to reach out to me, or anyone else, if you need to.
***If you feel like you want to harm yourself or someone else, please don't hesitate to call the Depression Hotline-1-630-482-9696, or the Suicide Hotline 1-800-784-8433. Please don't feel any shame or embarrassment by calling if you are at your wits end and need the help. There is a reason these hotlines exist. There are thousands of people who have needed them.***